The Expendables VS Zombies
by MissDawes
Summary: The Expendables have lived through a lotta crap, but never in their lifetime did any of them even consider a portal to Mars or zombies or the apocalypse happening in their lifetime. This came about from a dream with my OC Roxy B. meeting Gunner and there were zombies. Rated M for language, some sexual references, violence, gore. This is also posted @ AO3, under MissDawes.
1. Chapter 1

A / N : Had a weird dream where Gunner met my OFC Roxy and they slayed zombies together. This is me taking that idea and running with it. The Expendables surviving the zombie apocalypse with a few OCs.

A /N 2: If you've read "Something Just Like This" (The Vampire Diaries/Originals Fic featuring Klaus & my OFC Roxy), yes, that is the same Roxy but I've dropped her into another universe. There will be identical things and very similar things, so you're not going crazy. Roxy here and Roxy there are the same person, but in a different universe. 

Chapter 1  
Seperated  
Gunner POV

I can't believe this shit. We've survived this long only to be seperated and taken out by a bunch of hood rats?  
Lee got stabbed. When he got a fever we knew infection was setting in and we needed something to take care of it before it could kill him. We cleaned house to get here and when we did, a bunch of rats came outta nowhere. We didn't hear shit until they opened fire on us. Fucking thing won't stop bleeding and without any firepower, they were forced to leave me here.  
Bring it rats! I'll take you assholes with me!

Or I'll just pass out right here. Fuck you all. If I die here, I'll eat you when I get up.

When I'm coming to, I'm drowsy. I'm warm and a lotta that warmth is coming from the body next to me.

"Relax. You're safe."

"I am relaxed."

"You're rigid." She brings one arm down and on that arm she is up on her elbow. "You've got stitches. I didn't want you freaking out and ripping them open. You lost a lotta blood and got cold. This was the best way to heat you up without going too fast and causing damage to your tissues."

"Well . . . this has gotta be the first time I woke up next to a woman that I didn't fuck."

She smirks, "Sorry hun, I doubt you had enough blood in your body for that and it's no fun when you keep going soft. You warm enough?"

"Toasty. You a doctor?"

"No. I'm that person that hates doctors so I learn to do it myself."

"Great. Amature doctor."

"I could've left your ass in there to die. You're welcome."

"Thanks."

"Oh, relax with that tone. You make it sound like I performe open heart surgery on you with shit on my hands."

I smile. "Sorry hun. Thank-you, for not leaving me there to die and turn into one of the ghouls. Then eating you would have a whole different meaning."

She's blushing. "You're a pig."

"I wish I was. But that's only if it's true their orgasm lasts for an hour. I can totally live with that."

"But then you'd get eaten."

"Look at me- I'm gorgeous. If I was a pig, I'd be a breeder."

"I've seen better."

"Bitch."

"Your mother." She gets up and stretches.

"Damn, where the hell have you been?"

"Stalker tried to kill me. I never enlisted."

"You have tags."

"From Sean."

"Husband?"

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"No."

"The stalker you killed and took it as a trophy?"

"Way off." She's got her pants on and is zipping up a black jean shirt. "He was a SEAL turned private security. Fucker survives the sand box full of shit, police work, FBI work, and cancer only to die death  
by stalker bitch stabbing him in the back 18 times."

"18 times?"

"Total. And the kicker is outta all 18 of those, the one that did him in was the one to his liver. Ain't that some shit?"

"He wasn't much of a guard if the stalker still got you." I sit up on my elbows and look down at myself.

"It's complecated and I'm not in the mood for details." She picks up a bottled water, pops the top and hands it to me. "You need liquids to replenish your blood so bottoms up."

"Shouldn't I be having orange juice or something then?"

"Unless you got an orange groove up that ass, neither of us are having oranges any time soon. But I got apple juice if you want one. I hate it."

"Why take it?"

"Beggers can't be choosers. You don't have ashma. Why take an inhailer?"

"How do you know?"

"Because military doesn't take liabilites like that. But thanks. You saved me the trouble of looting the place."

"The other half of it's with my group. You see a bunch of guys trolling through the city?"

"I haven't seen much of anything the past few days, but I did see a ford truck pissing off in the wrong direction."

"Wrong direction how?"

"They're heading in to the city, not out of it. This is the closest I've come because all other places I've checked have been looted, and I'm not going any farther. It's just a dumb idea. Cramped areas, denser population, not to mention the hospital. I will suffocate before going to a hospital."

"Shit. You didn't stop them?!"

"It's eight months into the apocalypse. Y'know what I've encountered since then? Men outnumber women six to one, and in the past month alone one guy tried to date rape me, another tried to corner me and got his pecker bit off, and going back even farther, there's a psycho cult breeding over yonder." She points. "Who attempted to brain wash me into being one of seven broodmares he's got knocked up because apparently reproduction is more important than safety or food and water. So no, if I see a bunch of men roaming around, I'm staying the fuck away from them."

"You picked me up."

"You're one and you're injured. I'll approach a single person before I will a group and approach military before civilians."

"Former. I'm retired."

More or less.

"Regardless. I figure if you can handle working with women in the core, you're more likely to be a little less handsy. And like I said, you're injured. That gives me the advantage and I will exploit it if need  
be. So you've got a choice: behave or I drop you where I'm parked and you can huff it with nothing but the clothes you're wearing."

"I'll behave. Promise. But I'm still gonna oogle you. I ain't seen a breathing woman in about three months. Can't completely blame a guy, can ya?"

"Well, I'm a eight so no, guess I can't."

"Eight?"

"Are you disagreeing?"

"No. I'm just trying to figure out why you took 2 points off."

"You did see the scarring, right?" She shows me the left side of her face that's got half a Glasgow grin that continues up across the side of her face and stops at the center of her forehead. "Looks like someone tried to carve my face off."

"Yeah, but I've still seen worse and scars are hot. Wanna see some of mine?"

"I think I've seen enough of you for now. You hungry?"

"Starving. Please tell me you've got something other than beans."

"Vienna saussage," She's looking at the racks on the wall. "dozens of beans, tuna but I got no whip. Beeferoni, peanutbutter, jellys, everything you can think of made into a bar and the staple of the apocalylpse," She holds up a box. "Crackers."

"Whatever you're having, I guess. That's all a bunch of shit." I belch after downing half that water and some of the apple juice.

She comes over with the crackers, tuna, BBQ vienna sausage and some kinda oil.

"Chipotle oil?"

"Some spice for the tuna. It makes it more bearable."

I ease up into a sitting position and flinch at the cold wall.

"Are we in a truck?"

"Rent-A-Center truck. It's more durable than an RV, more oomph, and it's higher up." She puts the pillow between me and the wall. "The only thing I don't like is going back to the dark ages with a literal toilet bowl."

She points to a spot closest to the door.

"You gotta go, you chuck that shit outside."

It's a wide, deep-dish bowl with black sharpie on it that reads SHITTER. The perk there is she's got toilet paper. Guess that was expected. Women can't shake it off.

She gives me a fork and pops the top on the vienna sausage before dividing it evenly and then I get the last one.

"Ladies first."

"Argue with me and it'll go up your ass."

"That's the second time you've mentioned my ass. You got a fetish or somethin'?"

"Some women like a guy with long hair, some like him with glasses, some like 'em stick thin, abs. I'm a butt girl. Before you get the wrong picture, no, I wasn't oogling you while you were unconscious."

"I would."

She's dividing the tuna on the crackers so we both get six with tuna on it.

"I'm a boob guy. Got any beer?"

"I don't drink and you're not getting any while you're injured."

"So you do have alcohol? But you don't drink it? What do you use it for?"

"What do you think steralized your injury? And it's good for trade."

"You alone?"

"At the moment."

"Seperated?"

"Um-hm." She licks the oil off her fingers. "Where were you?"

"You really wanna know?"

She shrugs to show she doesn't really care. When I don't answer, she doesn't pry. A lotta women pry. I hate it.

"What's that?"

"Movement around the truck."

"You have motion sensors on your truck? What did you do before this?"

"Roxanne Bathory, you may call me Rox, Roxy, but not Anne. Billionair, author, home renovation and security as well as a lotta other things."

She has a laptop that must be connected to the outside.

"It's just ghouls."

And returns to eating.

"How big is your group?"

"No comment."

"I'm not gonna do anything to ya."

"That's how it usually starts out and then shit changes real fast. I'm not saying and you're gonna deal with it."

That makes me think there is no group or her group is very small. People think woman, I can easily win against her. People learn their group is bigger than hers, and they decide to rob an kill them if they have to. I get it.

When we're done, she puts the tray and oil back and tosses the cans in a bag. She takes a long drink before grabbing a spear from under the bed. She opens a hatch in the door and taps the spear a few times. They investigate the noise only to get jabbed in the head.  
Once she's done she sits at the laptop.

"Frye, are you there?"

"Hey Rox! It's Bree. I'll get him. He's nibbling on hot pocket. You should've seen him turn into Rambo when he saw 7-11 still had a hotpocket and the zombie was in his way."

"I thought we agreed not to call them zombies."

"But why?"

"Because it's ridiculous."

"Whatever Rox. I'll call 'em what I want."

"Hey boss lady! How life on the road?"

"It's alright. I need you to look for a vehicle for me. It's a red ford truck. The other is a canary yellow hummer."

"How'd you know?"

"I saw your expression when I mentioned them. I knew you knew them."

"Who's that? You find yourself a manly man out there?"

"Yes." I get up and move over to the computer where they've got a video feed on.

"I got movement but it's not either one of those vehicles. It looks like a black Escalade."

"How can he know that?"

"The FBI is gone. The CIA is gone. The NSA is gone. There's no one keeping me outta anything anymore. I'll do a wider scan. But if you're interested, the black escalade is outside of what looks like a duplex."

"They're probably the assholes that shot you. I've seen a black Escalade around here and there."

"It was an all guy group, 4 hood rats with automatic weapons. One got lucky."

"People get shot. It wasn't a poke at your ego, he-man. Can you gimme a layout of current hot spots?"

"Yeah, gimme a minute."

"Who is he?"

"I required a nerd on demand to keep my businesses with the latest tech and security."

"I love you too, Rox."

"If I didn't love you Frye, I wouldn't pamper you."

"Ta-da. Did it based upon the police and private cams that are still active in the area. Red's a bad idea. The black star is you. The black X is the Escalade. The red star's the others. FYI, they're on the move and they're taking a bad route back towards city limits. Any of them still have a cellphone?"

"No."

"Radio?"

"Just what's in the car."

"Have you found Val and Oric?"

"They're outside the city at a truck stop. Oric and I spoke. He says everything's cool. They lost only 2 people and gained five. They're just waitin' on you. Val won't move any farther without you. Ain't that sweet?"

"Yeah. So sweet. It takes a tumor and the apocalypse for him to get over the age difference. If it wasn't possible for him to die in his sleep tomorrow, I'd tell him to shove it up his ass."

"It's a pretty big age gap."

"Frye."

"Yeah, yeah. MYOB. Okay. These green dots are places that sell food. These yellow ones are places that sell gas, diesel and propane. Purple dots are homes with registered weapons and blue are weapons dealers."

"Okay . . ."

I can tell she's thinking.

"How clogged is the traffic to here?" She touches the screen and it lights up.

Their conversation goes on and on until she's decided the best route to go.

"One more thing, any places that sell medications? Preferably prescriptions."

"Coming up." He adds orange dots to the map.

She breathes in deeply. "Okay. I'll call ya later. We're gonna get a move on. Keep an eye on the red canary. I wanna catch up to them later. How's things there?"

"Mom's bitchy. The place is fine. Everything's pretty chill."

"Okay. I'll call ya later. Bye Frye. Bye Bree."

"Be safe girlfriend." Bree tells her and the screen goes black.

She's adjusted the charger so it runs off of a battery.

"He's very useful. Where is he? Home?"

"Home."

"In?"

"Montana." She breathes in deeply. "This is my stash. If you steal from me, I'll do something horrible to you while you're sleeping. Take this for pain. This for infection that may or may not set in. This, change it at least once a day. Use this, it's antibacterial and aids in regeneration. Any questions?"

"Yeah, how long before you decide to take me back to my group? Or do I gotta tie you to the bed to get ya outta my way?"

"We're less than two miles away from somewhere with provisions. Not just food and water, but OTC meds and hygienic stuff I need. So unless you want a in-depth talk about how a woman's period works, we're going to the store," She points, "and we're getting me some pads because I'm not sitting in my own soil!"

"Okay."

"Good."

"You don't gotta scream about it. Just say so. Ya moody bitch. Get some chocolate while you're in there."

"It's not due for another two weeks, but apocalypse stress and weird diet's messed it up. I'm off the birth control and the meds so yes, I'm a moody bitch. I don't like when I have to explain WHY I need to go to where I need to go. You think I wanna be in the city? Full of bottom feeding assholes that don't realize we're all in the same sinking ship."

She sits in the driver seat.

"I didn't know their trucks were like this."

"It's been renovated to suit my needs. Sit down so we can go."

I take a seat in the front and she starts it up. There's a fucking plow on the front end that just pushes everything outta the way if it gets too close. She backs it up all the way to the loading dock.

"You stay here. And I fucking mean it. I don't wanna run in to you while I'm in there, mistake you for something else and shoot you in the face. Also, this is lo-jacked. You can't steal it without me. Don't eat all my shit. Don't drink all my shit. No alcohol."  
Her choice in weapons is handguns, one automatic, two hawk-axes, and she changes again. The zip up shirt is gone, revealing a cami, and in it's place goes a bullet proof vest and on top of it goes a long-sleeved shirt.

"Don't take too long."

"Yes grandpa."

"I'm not that old and you're not that young either. I see that gray."

"Silver."

"Gray."

"Silver. Are you blind? Or do you not know your colors?"

I lean down to her eye level. "Gray. And I'm coming with you."

"You're injured."

"But not dead."

"And if you don't heal, you'll be useless when and if I need you. I've been in these places before. I'm sure I'll live. You," she grabs me by the balls, "back up."

When I don't move, she squeezes. I take one step, two.

"Woman, I'm not above slapping the shit out of you if you don't let go of my junk."

She just smiles, lets go and darts out the back door, closing it behind her. Jesus, fuck! The first woman I see in three months and she's gotta grab my junk like it's a stress ball. But I gotta give it to her- she's got spine and I like me a woman with some sass. Keeps things fun, y'know?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Reunited**

 **Gunner POV**

I time her on how long she's in there. 14 minutes in and she's skipping across the parking lot with a shopping cart full of shit.

"What's wrong with the dock?"

"Had to trap some back there. They were in the employees only area as it was and I think they've been there since the fall cause they were slow as hell. I'm gonna pull up and use the lift."

And more are flocking to us. They must've heard the truck start up again. I've noticed these things are kinda ADD. If they don't see or hear anything they don't do anything.

"There's another cart by the front door."

She pulls up and makes a circle in the lot to take out everything coming towards us. The second cart is loaded onto the lift and she uses a handgun to take out what's coming towards her.

"Not a bad shot. But it won't save you the next time you grab my dick like that."

"Whatever you say, blondie."

"You get your tampons?"

"Yes, I got some tampons." She mocks me.

"But forgot the chocolate."

"Actually, I found some. And just for that, I'm not sharing it with you."

I smirk. "Whatever, Roxy. That sounds like a dogs name."

"And what's your name? Oh fearless Norseman?"

"How can you tell that?"

"Your appearance. Duh."

"Gunner Jensen."

"Wow. That suits you so much."

Roxanne suits you, but I'm not telling you that. We're a few minutes down the road when she apologizes.

"Pinching you was the only advantage I had and it was for your own good."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it. It's the first hand he's felt in months that ain't mine. It's nice to know it's still alive."

That gets her laughing. "Must be hard finding Cialis, huh?"

"I'm old, but I'm not that old. You be careful the next time you grab me like that. I might take it as an invitation."

"What makes you think I'm interested?"

"Right. Val. Who's apparently much older than you. How's that working out for ya? Tumor and all."

"Low blow, Gunner. Not cool. And after many years of waiting, I'm so taking advantage of that."

"You're terrible. That's even worse than me. Or maybe not. I don't know."

"He's interested. It's just the age gap is what stops him. It's not like I'm giving him roofies and molesting him in his sleep. There are moments he doesn't remember who I am but I remember who he is. And the tumor just makes it worse."

"Inoperable?"

"Um-hm. He was going through chemical therapy to shrink it, but shit happened."

"Yeah."

That's gotta suck. How much older is this guy? She's probably what? 40? Ish? I can't tell. I'm 54.

She drives for hours and pauses only to pee and check in with Frye. I'm tired so I take advantage of that bed she's got in the back. When I wake up, she's asleep on the floor this time.

"Don't step on me, Lurch."

"I didn't know you were there. Is it night?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You're injured and you need sleep. Your friends haven't moved. I'm sure we can catch up to them tomorrow. Don't move."

I can hear her move and a small light clicks on that lights the whole place.

"Early breakfast?" I suggest. I'm always hungry these days.

"Go for it."

She sits on the bed and I don't know how she can go back to sleep with her legs hanging off of it. Vienna sausage and crackers. I haven't even had canned meat in months. It's always beans or fruit cocktail.

"You snore."

"Stalker broke my nose."

"You could've slept with me, y'know. I don't bite. Unless you're into that."

There's a little smile. "You were sprawled out on this thing. I wasn't about to go poking someone that might wake up swinging."

"This bed's too small."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lurch. I wasn't expecting any giants to visit. Now shut up before you- never mind. I'm awake."

"Oh good, we can go then."

She squints at me. "You did that on purpose."

"I thought, if she wakes up and we're moving she might think I'm kidnapping her."

"Well, at least you're not as dumb as you look."

"Still snarky when you're half asleep. How does Val tolerate you?"

She shrugs and points to her water bottle. I hand it do her and she downs what's left of it.

"I don't think it's a good idea joining your friends in the middle of the night. Y'know, dead people walking and live people being assholes that rather kill you and take your shit than share. I'm not in the mood to get shot at."

"Maybe you're right."

I offer her one of the peanutbutter crackers before I eat them all. She shakes her head no. Then checks her watch.

"Got somewhere to be?"

"Just curious. It's 4 AM."

"When'd you go to sleep?"

"When it got dark. Bright light attracts them."

"What gave you the bright idea for this?"

"Remember how author is on that list? Apocalypse was one of my series. Two, actually. I just applied the what if into reality and ta-da."

"You did this?"

"What? You think a girl doesn't know how to do shit?"

"I never said that. I just think it's unlikely."

"Val's excuse is I'm too old for this shit. Oric with a welder is just no." She smiles, "And the other guys didn't do it right."

"How old is this guy?"

"69."

"And you don't see the age gap? You're what? 30?"

"34. And yes, I'm aware of the age gap. What I'm also aware of is I'm well over legal age and sound of mind. There's this thing called personality. I like Vals. He just happens to be old as dirt. How about you? Any weird and complected relationships or an actual girlfriend?"

"Haven't had one of those in years. How long you been waiting on him?"

She has to think about it. "Six years."

"Six years?"

"We've known each other for ten."

"That's too fucking long."

She shrugs. "I'm not worried about it. I'm a workaholic and rich. Guys see me and think ooh, she's hideous so she's desperate. Which is why I don't date guys in my age group. There's only so much shallow and stupid I can tolerate. We've got an odd understanding and are fine where we are."

"You often this open with shit?"

"After you reunite with your buds, I doubt we'll be running into one another again, so I don't really care. But usually, no. Why?"

"I'm not exactly that guy you share your secrets with n' shit."

"Aw, is it too girly for you?" She teases and smiles. "It's not girly to say what you think or how you feel. And if someone doesn't like it, they can suck it. Just like those people that ask what do you think? And how's that make you feel? And when you tell them, they don't like it. They can suck it too. Besides, if you ever come in contact with a computer again and google me, it's all shit about me that you'd learn on there anyway."

She gets up. "I gotta pee. I'll be back. Don't fuck with my truck."

"Don't get bit in the ass."

Her choice of weapon to take with her is the spear from under the bed, handgun and hawk-axe. She grabs the TP and takes a look outside before hopping down out of the truck and wondering off the road into the tree line. While she's out there, I take a piss right off the passenger side.

"I hate you."

"Why?"

"You have it easy being able to pee standing up."

She plucks an antibacterial wipe from the pack in between the seats and rubs it all across her hands.

"Wash. Don't gimme that look. You've got injuries that can lead to infection just by touch. Wash."

She smiles when I make a show of washing my hands with the wipe.

"Happy?"

"Ecstatic. Did you eat all my sausage?"

"Maybe."

"You turd." She picks a can of beans.

"Now you're eating?"

"What? I can't eat when I first get up. Then I feel hungry though I ate. Don't rush me, gigantor. I'll take forever."

"Gimme the keys. I'll drive."

"No. You're going to be changing your bandages because you're leaking." She points at me.

"You're a pain in the ass."

"Fix yourself. Or do you have a medic in your posse?"

"Who says posse anymore?"

"I'm an author. My vocabulary's huge." Her cheek bulges, "Less staring, more fixing. And don't rip that shit off either. You might pull the stitches."

I peel it off slowly and take a look. Not bad. I've seen worse. But I did bleed sometime in the night. There's an old orange spot and a fresher redder spot. I apply the damn goop she gives me and put a new patch on.

"Good boy. Who wants a cookie?"

"Do you have any?"

"Even better. I've got Ferro Rochere and Russle Stover chocolates. I hate stale as fuck cookies. They taste like sand."

Half a can of beans is gone and she plucks a piece of chocolate from a drawer under the small table that's bolted to the floor.

"Should've known you'd have a stash."

"Nom-nom-nom." She picks one.

"Whatever you're having. I'm not big on chocolate."

But I might never have it again.

"How am I looking?"

"We get you some bolts and a few more scars and you can be Frankenstein for Halloween."

"Smart-ass."

The can of beans is almost gone when she starts burping.

"Still hungry?"

I have the little bit that's left before she goes to the computer. There's an e-mail on there from her computer nerd from 4 hours ago. Says that the red dots haven't moved. So my friends are still there at the gas station. She's driving and I'm in the front seat.

"You can lie down y'know. I doubt that seat's comfortable."

"I'm fine. And what would you know about getting shot and stabbed?" I question.

"You've only seen my back."

That looks like she's been whipped and there's an ugly blotchy red scar on her shoulder blade.

"You've been shot?"

"Twice."

"Stabbed?"

She's got the chocolate in her mouth now and holds up four fingers before opening her hand and there's a Ferro Rochere.

"Thanks."

"You're not allergic to nuts, right?"

"What's in it?"

"Chocolate and hazelnut."

I don't think I ever had one of these. It's not bad.

As we approach, I can see why my team haven't moved. They're cornered. There's a hoard surrounding the little gas station.

"Well, that's a rookie move."

"What?"

"Gas stations are hot zones. You see all these vehicles? Where did everyone go? Back to the city? In to the wilderness? How many city people you know can survive in the woods with nothing? If someone dies now, they get up as a ghoul. Just like if you see a pile up like this on the highway, you find a way around it cause chances are the people that died there are ghouls, and they've lingered around that area because there's very little to draw them away."

She goes to the back and turns on a small radio. She draws them to the back of the truck and uses a small gas powered nail gun to take them out.

"A nail gun? Seriously?"

"Seriously." She strikes a pose with it. "It's quieter than a gun and just as effective. Pew-pew."

Smirking, I get up and grab my gun from it's spot under the table.

"Thanks kid."

"I'm not a kid. I'm just younger than you, grandpa."

The music goes off and she swings the door open. "Take this down. You stretch too far and you'll tear your stitches."

She presses a button that causes the doors to lock.

"Open that door and you'll alert everything within miles of us."

"Brat. You got any ammo for this?"

"While you were sleeping, I refilled your magazine." She sweeps my bag off the floor and opens it. "Empties are refilled. You've got 3 days rations and about a weeks worth medical supplies and meds for your injuries. The only thing I took outta your shit was my inhalers, vitamin D, ibuprofen, and anything used to treat infections related to my lady parts. What? Don't gimme that look. I'm clean, but fact is I'll be filthy before I die of dehydration and infection can be caused by an imbalance in PH."

"Relax, girl. I know what causes infection. I've a degree in chemistry."

She looks surprised.

"Surprised?"

"A little. I kinda pegged you for the typical guns, girls, beer and sports type."

You're not completely wrong.

"Thanks Rox."

"You're welcome. Now shoo. Before your friends think I'm hostile."

"You could always stick around." I press the lever on the lift and it starts me down.

"I've got people waiting on me and then my ass is going home."

"Montana?"

"Um-hm."

I stop the lift and we're eye to eye when I plant one on her. I'm waiting for a slap or for her to push me off the lift, but she doesn't.

"See you later, Lurch."

When I growl, she smirks.

"I'll see you later, brat. I gotta find the right nickname for you."

As I'm heading towards my group that's gathered just outside the door, she's driving off up the road aways and takes out one by opening her door and nailing it right in the face.

"Someone picked you up huh?"

"Well don't everyone welcome me back all at once. You're overwhelming me. How'd you get stuck in there?"

"Hoard came outta nowhere. We walked through the place and there was no movement so we went in. Next thing we know, we're fighting to get the doors closed. We're all out so I hope that new friend you made gave you something." Barney says.

"Lie down and let me take a look at ya." Doc says.

"Here." I hand the bag off to Yang and he opens it, takes everything out of it and organizes it on the hood of a car.

"They a doctor?" Doc asks.

"No."

"That's a surgeons work."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I was a doctor and a surgeon. I know their work."

Someone lying to me? She seemed so honest. Women. All liars in the end. Great kisser though.

"We have enough food and water to last us until tomorrow. 3 full magazines."

"And the one in my gun makes four."

"Slice is shallow. If it went any deeper it would've hit your spleen. Gunshot was a through and through. Other stab wound is more like a poke. You'll live. What else we got in there? Anything for infection?" Doc asks.

"Yeah. About a weeks worth."

"Good. Cause what we managed to get from the pharmacy's just enough for me. Why were they there?" Lee asks.

"Inhailer."

"That's gonna suck later on when they die from asphyxiation." Toll says. "Or get eaten alive while having an asthma attack."

"Morbid." Hale comments and Toll shrugs.

"So who were they? Was it a man? Or a smoking hot woman? I haven't seen a woman in months. One that's y'know, a live one. This apocalypse is turning into a sausage fest." Galgos comments. "Well?"

"Doesn't matter. We won't be seeing her again."

"Ooh, sounds like someone wants to keep her to himself." Lee teases. "C'mon Gunner. Three months, we're gettin' desperate here."

"She's a nine."

"Blond?"

"Brunette. Brown eyes. A little on the athletic side. Great ass."

"I hope you said thank-you." Hale says.

"I wish."

"You're all pigs." Maggie comments.

"We're men. You're surrounded by a bunch of handsome guys. Imagine if it was the other way around and you saw a guy for the first time in 3 months." Galgos says. "I visited a town like that once. Women outnumbered men three to one and they couldn't keep their hands off me. Did you at least get a kiss?"

I just smile and they all laugh.

"She didn't punch you in the face?" Maggie questions.

"Maybe she likes my face?"

"Or maybe it's been that long since she saw a man?" Maggie throws back.

"C'mon, Maggie, don't be so mean. It's not Gunner's fault he's not the fairest of us all." Tool jests.

"You have seen yourself in a mirror, right?" I tease right back. "Lets get going before more show up."

"Good idea. Best idea ever! I was taking a piss and I thought my dick was going to get bitten off." Galgos continues rambling on about how he saw that in a zombie movie once, but he can't remember which one it was.


End file.
